This is My Life

In the past few weeks I have written two articles: one for Catapult, the e-zine of * Culture is not Optional, on Romance and sexual intimacy for their Subversive Love Issue that came out on Friday, another article on Goth Eucharists, for the Spring issue of Kilter. I finished the article on Goth Eucharists, Yesterday Morning and went to the editorial meeting last night. I recommend checking out either publication, though Kilter is a print magazine with online presence, so to get the full feel of it you'll have to purchase a copy or subscribe which you can do on Kilter's web page. And Catapult regularly puts out thoughtful and thought provoking articles, and I should link to them more often and not just when I have an article. Well enough with the promotion.

Kilter and Catapult represent two vary different networks and communities. Kilter is the magazine of Gothic art Chicago and is intended as a forum for the "dark arts, music and culture in Chicago. Catapult and *CINO was founded by a group of young Christian Reformed, about 6 years ago, and although their network expands beyond this particular denomination the origins and theology behind the publication and the organization still has a Reformed feel. Part of me feels like this should feel surreal to me, yet it doesn't. However, I don't think I have ever really lived only in a singular setting, network or subculture. Even in the small town I grew up in the church community I was in was not coextensive with the entire community and being in California in the 70's secularization had occurred even in the small town so I went to school with kids who not only went to different churches in town but who also didn't go to church and eventually even some Buddhist.

I am thinking of all this because on Monday, I met Kate and some friends for Lunch at a little middle Eastern place on Clark in Roger's Park. the place was across the street from the tattoo parlor of a new member of Reconciler. I had not been to the parlor so I went to see him. He was working on a tattoo, I met his new peircer and we talked about where he wants the icon he has commissioned me to paint for his shop. As I left the shop and headed to Metropolis Coffee and thought about the editorial meeting that evening for Kilter It all felt very normal and yet so odd. I wondered if the peircer i meet realized the guy with spiky hear, a kilt and big platform buckle boots was the pastor of the tattoo artist he was now working for. then I saw another member of Reconciler at Metropolis coffee and we talked about the "Bishops visit on Sunday to Reconcciler" he is a poet and teaches English to students at a Yeshiva and looks the part. I couldn't help wondering as we stood in the middle of the cafe if anyone who over heard us and then looked at us what that would seem like.

Then in the evening off to meet up with contributors and editors of the magazine Kilter. At the meeting I realize that I am now the most involved I have ever been in any Goth scene, and I am doing so as a pastor who is turning 40 this year. This all only feels a little odd if I stop sort of step out of my own skin and think about it. From inside this all seems quite "normal" or at least feeling like I am fully coming into what I hoped my life path would lead me: into a very heterogeneous space, where I traverse many different worlds. It is I hope being in the world but not of the world, that is being the Priestly Goth.

Humility

"Habitual Humility is the primary evidence, the undeniable sign of Christian discipleship. Humility is sincere concern for the good of others balanced with the simple gratitude for the gift of one's self, shown in the genuine willingness to serve the neighbor and heard in gentle laughter and self-effacing humor." David Augsburger, Dissident Discipleship: A Spirituality of Self-Surrender, Love of God, and Love of Neighbor, Brazos Press, 2006, pg 99.

I am letting this above quote interact interpret be interpreted by these scriptures II Kings 5:1-14;Psalm 30; I Corinthians 9:24-27; Mark 1:40-45. At least that is the current idea and what seems to have worked thus far in writing the rough draft of course I have had it happen where I feel this way on thursday and then friday Afternoon find myself taking the sermon in a completely different direction.
So we'll see.

Midwinter Closing Breakfast

My experience of of Midwinter began and ended with the issue of contemporary slavery. As I noted in an earlier post my first Workshop was Dr. Boaz Johnson's seminary on Global Slavery. Today at the closing breakfast, Gary Haugen president and founder of International Justice Mission (IJM) spoke to us. The organization works to protect victims of injustice and oppression around the world and to restrain and bring the laws to bear on oppressors. His take and message overlaped and also contrasted with Boaz Johnson's. His message was to us pastors and for us to take home to our churches was that we the church were to be involved in what he called the adventure of working for justice and against injustice. He has seen that so many Christians in the states are like he was at 10 when his father and brothers climbed up Mt. Ranier but he fearful claimed that such a hike seemed boring and that he'd rather stay in the visitor's center while. Many Christians are like he at ten in the visitors center of the Christian life, while Jesus is going out into the world. On the other hand after he told some stories of slavery he admitted that it was easy to get overwhelmed and full of despair as the job seems to big. He then brought to bare on this the story of the feeding the five thousand. First, Jesus tels them that they should feed the enormous crowd, and then tells them to bring what they have to him. God doesn't expect us to perform the miracle but to be willing to bring to God what we have so that through us and what we have God can perform the miracle and transform the world and bring an end to injustice.

He gave us intensely personal message and largely telling of Gary Haugen's own story and journey in a sense and was impactfing. He did have to do what the head of any activist organization has to do is speak of action of the hearers and encourage participation in the politics portion of the activist organization and support the cause. Nothing wrong with this but it did strike me as a contrast to most of his message. It did the opposite of what Boaz Johnson's presentation did which was to connect our stories to the stories of the oppressed and to see how we were connected and to look for oppression and slavery in our midst as opposed to that which was out there and over there. On some level this was an invitation to the powerful not to step away from their power but to use their power and influence the more powerful to alleviate the wrong. And certainly not something to be dismissed, or rejected and yet it retains some of the power structure and form of the oppression and injustice being resisted, and it doesn't ask us to see how we are part of the problem that even our systems of economy, law, and organization of political power is bound up in the issue. Our story stays seperate in a sense from these other stories.

Clearly what Gary Haugen had to bring to Jesus Christ in facing the evil of slavery was his training and practice in Law and the Justice department and international law. And bringing that along with other also brining this an organization has been crated that is doing the work of alleviating the oppression of slavery and rescuing slaves. Yet, his presentation ignores that part of the disciples problem in being asked to feed the five thousand is that as people who had answered the call to follow Jesus closely as that group that simply followed Jesus around in his itinerant ministry, had given up their abilities to even pool together enough cash or resources to feed five thousand people. They no longer had jobs or careers that they could use to address the situation before them they had accepted a chosen poverty in accepting the call to Jesus. They brought the resources of a boy because they themselves as people who once had supported themselves with "jobs" no longer did. So the message here to a wealthy and powerful people may not just be bring what you have but are you asked to give up the power and resources that would allow you to help in the first place. Not to say that all are called to this, there are instances and hints that not all of Jesus disciples were called to this chosen poverty, the one who provided Jesus' tomb and some of the women around Jesus are such examples, and yet we have just read the stories in the common lectionary of Jesus calling people away from what could provide resources to alleviate pain. Jesus does not tell the Rich young ruler put your power and money at my disposal and dole it out over time, but to give up that position of power and influence and come follow me. I don't think this is an either or, but a both/and. And I think Gary Haugen could not have preached both messages today, and his story is of bringing his power and influence to Jesus and to bear upon this overwhelming reality of contemporary slavery. But I was aware that without the witness of chosen poverty and relinquishing completely of ones power Gary Haugen's witness and story distances us from those it creates a division, the helper and the helpless. Where as if Gary's story is just one option, one way and there is this other very radical and counterintuitive way of relinquishing the resources of the world to alleviate the pains of the world then there is no critique of the existing power structures that both work for and against justice, and alleviate and perpetuate these things simultaneously often.

Midwinter Day 2

Today I arrived at the Hyatt just in time for the beginning of my all day session on Spiritual Direction and Pastoral Ministry, lead by Helen Cepero and Philip Hakanson. It was what I had hoped and I think one would expect from such a workshop more an extended several hour conversation than simple didactic presentation on Spiritual Direction in Pastoral Ministry. In the fall I had read Eugene Peterson's the Contemplative Pastor, which had lead me to feel more confidant in the place of overlap and connection between being a spiritual director and being a pastor, and hoped that this seminar would help me think that through more thoroughly (partially by simply allowing myself to devote a day to thinking about this with other pastors.) And this was exactly what we did. Helen and Phil structure our day primarily by taking us through reflection and discussion of four aspects or attitudes that are central to spiritual direction in terms of their possible connection with pastoring a congregation. These four aspects are: Presence and welcome, evocative listening and teaching, prayer and discernment, and hope and blessing. In someways this time of conversation and reflection helped integrate aspects of both of the workshops of yesterday as I was able to begin to see how communication fit in here and that this encompassed such things and the call of the Gospel to address such evils in the world as slavery among many others. But we need to be able to do it from a place both as pastors and congregations that is centered in God and prayer, which is what spiritual direction is about ultimately. At the end of the seminar we were asked to reflect on what might be some invitations that were coming from our reflection and conversation and I felt that I was being drawn away from simply being able to lift people up to God in prayer and let them go as things I carried to carrying both those I direct and the congregation I pastor iwth God and not simply to God. Not exactly sure what that means entirely.

Had a good lunch today with a good friend though we only really see each other at Midwinter and have limited communication otherwise. But we always find time to hang out the two of us and share our lives of the past year or so and our ministry and what we have been thinking about and our struggles. Its good.

Wednesday evenings is a free evening, that is without an evening program, I simply ended up coming home after my workshop. I had a slight head ache and I have realized that with all the input and social interaction I needed sometime not to be engaged much. Came home and had supper and read Neal Stephens Anathema which I had received as a gift for Christmas from a member of the community. One more day of workshops and then on Friday there is a Breakfast and Midwinter is over. Tomorrow I am going to a seminar on Evangelism, which I don't remember why I decided to register for that seminar so we'll see, tonight I am feeling a little skeptical about that workshop.

Midwinter day 1

I had begun a post on my time at the Midwinter Conference of the Evangelical Covenant Church yesterday but it was getting late and it turned out I was too tired to give a coherent reflection on the day I think the last Midwinter I attended was two years ago. So, I ended up seeing some people I hadn't seen in awhile, some of whom I saw almost immediately upon arriving yesterday morning. The conference is designed as a time to meet together as pastors in the Covenant around worship and continuing education so a bulk of the days are spent in workshops, with a worship service in the evening and Bible study after breakfast. The conference is here in Chicago at the Hyatt O'hare, which is a bit of a commute from where I live via the CTA so I have skipped the morninb Bible Studies and come for the workshops and evening worship.

After getting a ridiculously expensive coffee and chatting with a couple of people I hadn't seen in a few years I headed to my workshop "Global Slavery in Our Day" by professor Boaz Johnson. I had decided to register for this workshop largely to Hear Dr. Boaz Johnson's presentation on this as I feelt already fairly well informed about the extent and problems of slavery (in part through Anti-Slavery and Not For Sale). Dr. Johnson did not disappoint he began his presentation saying basically that his thesis is that human rights is not the solution to slavery (since it is a modernist concept) rather he sees the way forward on the issue of slavery is virtue ethics. Human rights and laws he said are short term strategies while he sees virtue ethics as involving long term strategies. Then Dr. Rajkumar Boaz Johnson began to tell stories of slavery and liberation from slavery. Both through a video and also through recounting his own encounter with slavery and with friends who were enslaved as a child in a slum in India. He also shared stories about how a church he had pastored had helped rescue slaves here in the US.

As he finished up his series of stories of slavery he invited comment and for us to relate any stories we might have in relation to modern day slavery. As he opened up the floor there were several questions about how people could get trained and what the denomination was doing. Someone even commented on how his presentation was good consciousness raising but what could we be doing and could. At the end of our time someone remembered that he had said something about virtue ethics as an alternative to Human rights and asked him to explain it. At the moment I am not entirely clear on his entire answer and explanation. However, the gist of it was that human rights emerges out of the legal system of Western Nations States who were also the colonial powers that trained the people who are now the ruling and educated classes in many if not all of the nation states who are former colonies. This is one side of the limit of Human rights is that it is a cultural should that is being forced upon others by Western powers. The other limit is that it is a modernistic view of the human that sees the human defined in terms of rationality and a culturally bound definition of freedom. virtue ethics is less concerned about narrow universal definitions and is more concerned with story and recovering cultural understandings of a web of interconnectedness with each other and the divine. There was more there and he went into a rapid explanation of stages that cultures go through, but I don't think I grasped his full argument well enough to reconstruct it here. Latter on in the day it occurred to me that Johnson was in essence doing virtue ethics in the form of his presentation, in telling stories and attempting to elicit stories from us, though he let us go into a very pragmatic and activist mode of tell us what we can do now enough with these stories we wanted to know how to do something now.

I went from the workshop and took lunch alone and worked on my sermon for Sunday on some very white and retro-modern seating in the center of the hotel, just a little surreal to be working on my sermon sitting in a very fancy hotel having just been to a workshop in which we heard very personal stories of slavery in our contemporary global society. This feeling of not quite being able to make things all fit together nicely continued as the afternoon workshop was on communications technology, much of it about electronic and INTERNET communications. It was a very good seminar and I am saying this not just because my good friend Steve Luce was one of the presenters. But it was very slick and of the moment as it also showed us how the new tools and technologies were similar and connected with old tools and technologies of communication. As well as an informative piece on how to deal with the media and to go about getting publicity and coverage. I think important things that pastors and churches need to be thinking about and attempting to do as well as they can and yet, somehow shallow and a bit translucent in the light of my morning session.

The evening was spent hanging out and discussing life, theology and the Covenant with my friend Steve. It had been a long while since we had seen each other and the last few times we had seen each other we had not engaged in such depth of conversation. Then we went to the evening worship in which Phyllis Tickle spoke to us about the place of the authority of the word of God in this time of "emergence." I think I will save any in depth engagement with Tickles speach to another post as I think she says some important things and I find my questioning a good bit of it as well.
find my account of day two here