Reviewing this Lent on Holy Wednesday

I did not, as is perhaps obvious, post every day, though of the last 42 days I have posted 20 times. I am not sure I am closer to the answers I was looking for when I chose to use posting to this blog as a Lenten discipline. Also, I failed in my goal. Also, I haven't written much explicitly on my vocation. I began there, but then I seems that most of what I have ended up posting has been a practice of being a public intellectual in the sense that i recounted here, and which J.K.A Smith talks about in the introduction to his The Devil Reads Derrida.

In this sense I suppose I have become aware of a good bit: there are a number of people who I know outside the interwebs who read this blog and appreciate my POV on things, actually appreciate is not quite right, if I am interpreting their feedback correctly over this period of more frequent blogging. Well it seems that when I write I give a perspective either that helps them give articulation to things they have been mulling over but not been able to give full expression or a differing perspective they find of interest.

I think I have learned a great deal from the post on McLaren and the Emergent church, both about the potential of speaking but also concerning my own hesitancy to speak out on such things in this public forum. But, I also am learning the need to reflect openly about what may lie behind a position I take, that is I suppose to practice an "archeology of knowledge" on my self. Which I'd argue is what we do when we stop and tell the story of our beliefs, intellectual positions, and philosophies and theologies. Perhaps not surprising to some Derrida continues to be a helpful companion in this. Though, not really because of his conclusions he himself seemed to have come. And he may think that I am not as ruthless as one could towards Christian orthodox doctrines. Yet, I find him helpful even there where I know he came to other conclusions.

This all still feels a little over exposed especially after posting this on Sunday. I feel a bit of resistance to what this all might mean. I am not really comfortable with what seems to be this public role as part of my vocation.